d6x6 Elemental Powers: Wood

 Inspired by this post by Red_Kangaroo.

All xylomancers are resistant to poison and illness.

1. Wood magic is about strength.

1. Wood in your sight can't be bent or broken.
2. Augment your strength with vines coiled around your limbs.
3. Form self-repairing wooden plate armour around your body.
4. Reactively form a protective wooden dome around yourself when attacked.
   
5. Lift and swing massive logs and poles as if they weighed no more than a twig.
6. Bring to life mannequins and totems which you carve from wood. They'll follow your commands, but are only capable of brute force, and not fine manipulation.

2. Wood magic is about endurance.

1. Your skin is faintly green. Time spent in the sun makes you rapidly heal.
2. Become tougher and more immovable the longer your feet are firmly planted on the same piece of ground.
3. Tap a contiguous piece of wood to render it immovable and inviolable. The effect lasts until you apply it to a different piece of wood.
4. Repair wounds - yours or another's - with wooden prostheses that work as well as flesh.
5. Go without food or water or rest, and ignore severe injuries, as long as you remain in contact with living plant matter
6. Care for a specific plant. If that plant grows ill, so will you. But as long as that plant flourishes, you cannot be killed.

3. Wood magic is about growth.

1. Sing to plants to make them grow at visible speed.
2. Snap your fingers to make a sapling instantly, explosively, destructively grow into a full-size tree.
3. Dense and diverse vegetation sprouts in your footsteps. You have limited control over the kind of plants that grow.
4. Grow to many times your normal height, with strength scaling more than proportionately. The extra mass sloughs of as leaf litter when you sleep.
5. Cause dense roots to burst from the ground and ensnare a target, growing around them. Needs existing roots as a starting point.
6. Extend and retract your limbs like Inspector Gadget. The extra length can take the form of either vines or hardwood.
   

4. Wood magic is about weird plant-themed whatsits.

1. Emit soporific spores from flowers blooming from your skin.
2. Organic material rapids decays under your touch.
3. Implant a parasitic sprout into someone's body to parasitically siphon away their lifeforce.
4. Absorb light energy into your skin and concentrate it without bound. Re-release all the light at once.
5. Rapidly grow parachutes of cottony fibers.
6. Exude sticky sap in place of sweat.

5. Wood Magic is about being in tune with nature.

1. Step into a tree-trunk, and step out from any trunk connected to the same wood web.
2. Meditate in a grove to gain tactile awareness of all the creatures therein.
3. Speak to trees. Learn the strange things they've seen and heard.
4. Plants and undergrowth don't hinder your passage. They bend out of your way while reaching to trip those who pursue you.
5. Trees grow and slowly twist into shapes convenient for you. Chairs, spears, houses, etc.
6. In exchange for tender care, Trees will relocate at your command. You need to shout; they're hard of hearing.

6. Wood Magic is about hurting people... with wood.

1. Shoot seeds as projectiles from out of your palms.
2. Cause impaling thorns to burst from nearby wood.
3. Summon and swing whip-like vines.
4. Staffs and polearms can grow and shrink in your hands.
5. Summon razor-sharp and impossibly rigid leaf blades. 
6. Stab a stake into something to destroy it utterly. 
   

Here is some visual inspiration: 1, 2.

Bonus: 6 more elemental powers to combine with Kangaroo's lists to make a nice round 200:

1. The element of Storm: Call down a lightning bolt directly on your location.
   
2. The element of Glass: Glass shards cannot cut you, and in your hands they can cut through anything.
3. The element of Osmium: You can telekinetically move osmium with your mind. It's quite strong, and has impressive range, but only works on highly purified osmium (which happens to be the rarest of the precious metals).
   
4. The element of Friendship: You can fire concussive beams of force from your palms that, in addition to knocking people off their feet and breaking their bones, also overwhelms them with an intense longing for companionship.
   
5. The element of Flesh: Sprout nasty flailing tentacles.
6. The element of Surprise: It's a gun. The surprise is that you can somehow own a working firearm in a magical psuedomedieval fantasy world.

Astropost: Astronomical Objects, Their Symbols, and Their Namesakes

I want to play a game set in a mythologized version of the Solar System. So I took some notes on the bits and bobs floating about.

Click to open in a new tab.

 The following is an incomplete list of objects in the Solar System, along with their namesakes and symbols.

Fragmentary Powers v2.0 - A Tarot Deck Generator for Janky Superpowers

Use this to generate confusing and bizarrely conditional supernatural powers.

This is an expanded version of the previous post, tweaked to be used with a deck of cards.

Potential use cases:

• Janky superhero one shots.
• Store brand JoJo stands.
• Clearance-sale magic items.
• Use these powers in place of GLOG templates? Bad idea? Best idea?

To manually generate powers, draw three cards from a tarot deck, and consult the tables below. The first card determines the Triggering condition, the second determines how the power manifests, and the third determines what element the power applies to. If you're using a poker deck, then simply ignore the trump suit and Cavalier cards, and map the red and black jokers to the Fool and the Magician.

Here's a pdf version of the tables below.

Fragmentary Superpowers - Two experiments with randomly generating jank.

I need some janky superpowers. Here are a couple of little experiments to randomly generate such things.

The first combines an activation condition with a power and an element:

The second just picks a few options from a list of 'partial' superpowers. Fire summoners are immune to fire. Super strongos have the unbreakable bones needed to support their strength. What if those required secondary powers were just doled out at random instead of being properly matched?

Here are a few doodles of janky superheroes for inspiration. The tables used in the above generators are down below.

Original Premium - While chanting, saltine crackers randomly appear nearby

Thick Liz - Immune to disease, doesn't need to breathe, can talk to fish (they don't listen)

Capn' Flappy - Changes direction of local gravity, redundant wings

10 bandit gangs which ambush you along the road.

1. Avery's Autarkic Army

 As you walk through down the road, dozens of identically clad bandits step out of the shrubbery. They're all brandishing similar swords in similar poses. One of these is Avery, the lone bandit. The rest are magical puppets mirroring Avery's moves.

2. Brutus and Billy, the Brute Brothers

A couple of beefy blokes relax out in the open next to the road, big cudgels in their hands. If your group looks weak, they'll step into the middle of your path, and demand that you hand over your valuables. If you look tough, they'll smile and wave as you go past.

 

3. A Cloudy Encounter

There are rumors of strange thefts on the road between Castletown and Cabletopia. Some evenings, a strange thick fog rolls in, acompanied by the clanking of bells. Then three silhouettes and 6 glowing eyes are seen charging forth from the darkness. The burly silhouettes shoulder past travelers, knocking them aside. After the fog clears, these unlucky travelers  find that they're missing their satchel or waterskin or somehow their shoes.

 

4. Denny (and his devilishly deceptive traps)

The cobbled road in front of you suddenly gives way to a short section made of regular red bricks. A crude amateurishly-carved statue has been recently installed along the road-side, with a wooden chest at its feet. From here, you can just barely see a set of cables running out of the back of the chest and into a hole in the statue.

 Ah, the local shire-reeve warned you about this. And sure enough, when you look around, you see a man in wizard's robes off in the distance, poorly concealed behind a small boulder and accompanied by several bored-looking mercenaries.

The man in the robes is Denny, a former wizard's apprentice with a concerningly pulsating growth on the side of his head. The growth whispers to him in dreams, gifting him grand visions of elaborate traps. Even when his devices manage to catch a traveler unaware, he rarely walks away with a haul worth more than the cost of their construction, so it's a bit of a mystery how he's managed to operate for so long.

 

d6x6 Sources of Magic.

What is magic anyways? Where does it come from? What is it all about?

 

1... Magic comes from nature.

1. It just comes out of big holes in the ground.
2. Dragons radiate it. Mana is dragon waste. Some creatures have evolved to collect this waste and reuse it to open doors or clean their clothes.
3. Lightning supercharges matter with mana.
4. People learned magic by studying the abilities of the ancient titans which roam the land. Pyromancy was learned from the father of dragons. Divination is a gift from the Moonwatcher. Necromancy comes from the Corpse Ball over in Glasmont.
5. Only animals have access to magic powers. In order to cast a fireball, you need a pet fire toad.
6. Gold. Gold is where magic comes from.

 2... Magic comes from the divine.

1. There are multiple competing gods, who disagree about the laws of physics and try to change things when they think the other gods aren't looking.
2. Gods are playing hyperchess with people as the pieces. Magic is given to the important players.
3. God just really likes certain sounds and gestures. Spells are divine applause.
4. Spells are what happens when spirits show up in the physical world. Ghosts, demons, spells--all the same.
5. The universe is a dream, and if you think in ways similarly to the dreamer, you can exercise some control over the dream.
6. Magic is the divine. Not a manifestation of the will of the gods, but the actual physical form of the gods.

 3... Magic is metaphysical in nature.

1. Magic is what happens when parallel universes slam into each other. You get magic by stealing power from your alternate-universe selves.
2. The universe is actively anti-inductive. A previous civilization figured out the laws of physics, which made the laws of physics change to become weirder.
3. The cosmos used to be chaos, filled with the unlimited force of creation. From this chaos, many universes were born. Ones in which the force of creation was limited tended to be more stable. But entirely constrained universes can't use the force of creation to create new universes. So there is a selective advantage for worlds just unstable enough to support the creation of child demiplanes. The anthropic principle does the rest.
4. Magic is just the leftover scraps of physics that haven't been banned. At the start of time, magic was limitless and birthed the universe. Any time magic becomes degenerate enough to cause an extinction event, it becomes more limited. Eventually, only the magic of magical exclusion itself will remain.
5. Chunks of another reality fell through the holes in the sky (the stars) and warp the world around them. Mages carry around little slivers of these other worlds and throw them at people.
6. The laws of physics are a government cover-up. Anyone can do magic if they stop eating the fluoridated ham.

4... Magic comes from the self.

1. Magic comes from meditation and attunement with the universe.
2. Magic comes from the power of emotion! Specifically, an emotion that most people can't feel anymore. Ancient sages trapped the emotion in a bottle and distilled it into a more concentrated form.
3. Magic comes from Fighting Spirit! Scream loudly and passionately! Wizards train to scream in the most passionate manner.
4. Blood is liquid magic. More blood = more wizard powers. The gods have severe hypertension.
5. Magic occurs when your soul leaves your body to go do other stuff. Counterspells are dark magic that directly erases the soul.
6. Mana is the byproduct of normal metabolic processes. Plants transform stale air, water, and light into fresh air, sugar, and magic. Wizards transform fresh air, sugar, and magic into stale air, water, and bad decisions.

5... Magic comes from technology.

1. The universe is a simulation. Magic is just a hacked together solution to some universe-crashing bug, and will be removed in a future update.
2. Spells are just technology from a long-dead civilization.
3. The universe is a simulation. Due to a security flaw, you can send commands to some subroutines you weren't supposed to be able to access.
4. Inter-dimensional aliens are doing science. Spells are experimental tech, and the aliens are having expendable lower-life forms run the safety tests.
5. Listen. There was this talking bird who crashed into a psychic ocean monster, but he was so good at video games that he was able to take over the monsters brain and then used his new psychic powers to transform himself into a spaceship and fly around the stars but then he got into a fight with a big robot crab and the robot crab pushed him into a black hole but instead of getting squished he became omnipotent. So anyways when magic happens, it's the bird guy.
6. Nanomachines, son!

6... You are mistaken about magic.

1. Magic is a hoax. Doesn't actually exist. It's all just mirrors and bits of twine.
2. That's not magic. It's just a very elaborate form of camouflage for insects.
3. It's all a coincidence. Particles can, with very low probability, spontaneously rearrange due to quantum tomfoolery. You just happen to live in one of the vanishingly rare Everett branches where magic coincidentally seems to work. Chants and finger-wiggles correlate with the spontaneous appearance of fireballs. There's no reason for it to continue working tomorrow, though.
4. That's not magic. It's a tumor.
5. Magic is just an allergic reaction to certain foods.
6. The real magic was the friends we made along the way.

 

10x10 Table of Monster Names, Presented Without Comment

	Artificial	Bestial	Chimeric	Dungeonesque	Ethereal	Fay	Grubby	Haunting	Inflamed	Moist
Artificial	Robot	Manbeast	Owlbear	Shoggoth	Modron	Candy Critter	Fake Egg	Zombie	Tarbeast	Submarine
Bestial	Stichthing	Bear	Snallygaster	Orcgre	Eternal Bird	Ball of Fur	Big Rat	Lycanthrope	Rakshasha	Shark
Chimeric	Gargoyle	Bigfoot	Panther	Cerberus	Ziz	Reptilian	Basilisk	Pumpkinking	Firefox	Kraken
Dungeonesque	Ooze	Dino	Gorgon	Eyebeast	Throne	Gnome	Spider	Shadow	Cherufe	Urchin
Ethereal	Meme	Bird of Prey	Pegacorn	Starspawn	Wingaling	Fairy	Bat	Ghost	Djinn	Flying Fish
Fay	Clone	Turtle Queen	Dryad	Mimic	Sylph	Li'l Elf	Ball of Teeth	Vampire	Will o Wisp	Jelly
Grubby	Golem	Beastman	Cyclops	Sewercrawler	Locus	Goblin	Wormlord	Mummy	Firebug	Eel
Haunting	Frankenstoid	Wolfpack	Mothman	False Hydra	Guardian Angel	Bogeyman	Lemur	Skeleton	Hellhound	Angler
Inflamed	Steam Punk	Rampager	Drake	Plaguehurler	Phoenix	Imp	Compostling	Devil	Flamespren	Fishstick
Moist	Snowman	Leviathan	Merfolk	Deep One	Nimbus	Lake Lady	Serpent	Swampheap	Salamander	Trout

A handful of random tables about magical whatzits

d6x6 Random Mundane Materials

	1	2	3	4	5	6
1	Dirt	Tin	Stone	Ethanol	Chitin	Hair
2	Silk	Copper	Sand	Soap	Rope	Skin
3	Water	Silver	Diamond	Nacre	Pykrete	Bone
4	Grass	Gold	Glass	Grease	Graphite	Giblets
5	Shellac	Iron	Rust	Treacle	Cement	Blood
6	Mold	Lead	Mud	Honey	Rubber	Meat

d20 Random Magical Materials with Impossible Properties

1. Dirt
2. Skywood: Dense, hard wood which resists the pull of gravity. Grows as trees which float through the air, carrying along clumps of earth tangled in their roots. Wicker panels of the stuff are used to craft flying ships.
3. Adamant Glass: Cloudy gray glass, impossible to sully or scratch. Impervious and impenetrable to all forms of chemical or magic, meaning it can be used to entrap ghosts, spells, and other spirits. Really easy to melt, though, and can shatter violently.
4. Vermillion Ichor: Like red-tinged quicksilver. Constantly jitters in place. Imbues anything it’s placed into with elan vital, compelling it into motion and imbuing it with will.
5. Magnets
6. Shimmersilk: Lightweight fluttering cloth of indeterminate form. Appearance changes based on the viewers’ expecations
7. Alkahest: Universal perfect solvent, seperates things into their constituent components without otherwise damaging or changing them.
8. Tomberstone: Stone which hates the heavens. Dark violet with streaks of iridescent yellow. When directly under an open sky, it pushes downwards with immense force. When covered, behaves like normal stone.
9. Chornolyst: Magical kudzu. Thick sticky pitch-black sheets which grow rapidly over surfaces in the presence of mana and bright light. Rapidly dies and rots in their absence. Tough but flexible. Highly flammable. Technically edible.
10. True Vitriol: Green-Red crystal with a greasy lustre. Eternally burns with an unquenchable putrid flame. Powerful heat, but irritating headache-causing flickering light.
11. Ectoplasm: A versatile stringy substance that can be regurgitated by skilled experts. A sort of physical manifestation of the soul which responds to the emitter’s will. Is capable of fine manipulation and interaction with a wide variety of magical phenomena. The main drawback is that any damage to the substance has drastic psychic health consequences for the person who squeezed it out.
12. Philosopher’s stone: Turns mercury into silver on contact, lead into gold, reverses aging, frags trolls, etc.
13. Slarmbe: Insulates from time. Kind of a salty amber-tinted jelly. Kind of just a zone of shimmering air. Kind of makes you go cross-eyed to look at it. The thicker it covers an object, the more slowly that thing advances through time. Can be arduously moved by prodding it with a long stick.
14. Solidified Nimbus: Like the cartoon version of a cloud. Soft and moldable. Cold to the touch. Drips water out of the bottom when squeezed. Accumulates static electricity.
15. Null: Absorbs energy practically without bound. Unworkable and immovable in its pure form. Can be dissolved and alloyed to produce immovable rods and similar wonders.
16. Impressionable Flesh: Raw animal matter in its most magically pure state. Often mistaken for a species of pale grey ooze. Assimilates small bits of detritus and small clumps of organic matter. When it comes into contact with a larger body of living flesh, it merges into and assumes the form of that flesh. Potent for healing, and can even restore lost limbs. Contraindicated for head and spinal injuries, under penalty of execution.
17. Demoncore: Densely malevolent metal, brimming with alchemical power. Capable of poisoning those who merely stand near it, or providing a near limitless source of arcane energy.
18. Voidmetal: Sticks to shadows and vice versa
19. Pureglass: Perfectly invisible stone.
20. Song-glass: Frost that dissolves into radio static whispers divine secrets.

Doors, Shores, and Parallel Zones: a guide to the boundaries between worlds

So you're jumping around between parallel dimensions.  But what's the crossover like?

Here's a quick taxonomy, sorted in increasing order of smoothness.

 

Doors 

(Also known as gates, portals, wormholes, cosmic glory holes, or rifts. )

An enclosed frame holding a flat region of warped space which is connected to a paired surface elsewhere in the cosmos. Any particle which passes through the frame is transported to the other world. (Some doors connect to an intermediary demiplane, and so resemble a tunnel.)

These are the most common and easiest-to-understand type of planar boundary, and most cross-dimensional spells work by opening these doors.

The defining characteristic of this kind of boundary is that local space is entirely normal close to the boundary and then experiences a discontinuity.

d6 doors found in the Plates of Flavor:

1. A small pond of cream found in the Plate of Sweets. Jump in and you'll pop out of a similar pond in the Plate of Meats. Unfortunately, the pond has a tendency to move around when no one is paying attention to it.
2. An elephant-sized peach pit lays in the deserts of the Plate of Seed. Small tunnels dot its surface, just large enough to crawl through. Most of the tunnels are shelter to vermin, but one opens out into a giant half-eaten peach in the valley of unripened fruit. 
3. The city of Everything Bagel, found at the center of the Great Buffet of the outer plates, is just riddled with doors. Nobody actually lives there except for the Lady of Propane. All the other people bustling about were just unfortunate enough to have a random portal open up connected to their refrigerator or shower drain or something like that.
4. If you dig deep into the crust of the pastry plains, sometimes you'll find a pocket of filling connecting to some other world. A custard pocket connecting to the plain of sweets. A pocket of garbage connecting to the prime material. Etc.
5. Dionysus has a big inter-dimensional portal that he just uses to dump half-eaten chicken wings.  No clue where the other end opens up.
6. Dump enough fish sauce into any whirlpool and it will briefly transform into a portal to the shallow sea.

Hyperbolic Shores

A transition into another world with noticeable spatial distortions, but no discontinuities.

For example, you're in the Boiling Oil Ocean, cruising around on your turnip barge. You see an island made of meat off in the distance, giant billowing fingers dressing its shores. After cruising around a bit, the island doesn't seem too large. But when you land and go to explore its interior, you find that it's infinitely large and in fact contains the entire Elemental Plate of Meat.

Meanwhile, from the Meat side of things, you approach a lake of oil. You can easily walk around the entire thing in a matter of hours, but can't see across to the shore on the other side. The lake, is in fact, the entirety of the infinite Plate of Oil.

Another common kind of shore are the ones that form in large book collections. As we all know, a dense enough concentration of knowledge can cause spacial distortions, making libraries and bookstores bigger on the inside or even connecting them to L-space. Because such distortions are noticeable, but locally continuous, they count as Shores.

Parallel Zones

Characterized by a transition to another world despite the lack of absolutely any sort of spatial distortion.

You know, that crazy fairy kind of stuff where you're walking in the woods down a path you've travelled many times before, but it's unusually spooky this time and then somehow you find yourself trapped in an endless twilight forest. And it turns out it's because the vice-archduchess of the fey or whomever wanted to look at your hat was lined with beaver pelt from a particular magical beaver is seeking its revenge. Okay, we're back. It's fine.

GLOG: Spells Bound to Minor Magic Items: Replace your spellbooks with something the barbarian can also use.

Here's an enjoyable aesthetic:

In the opening to the Harry Potter series, we see Dumbledore, the most powerful wizard alive, use a a little trinket to do his dark deeds. Instead of just willing the street to be dark, he comes prepared with a nifty little piece of artificery.

The first Harry Potter is full of this kind of device-based magic. The Deluminator, the invisibility cloak, the remembral, the philosopher's stone, everything in the quidditch trunk. Does Harry even use a wand to cast a spell during the film?

As the movie series goes on, magic shifts towards being more about laser gun fights. Pew pew. But in Deathly Hallows, the snitch and deluminator make a suprise comeback, and additional hidden abilities are retconned revealed.

I like this vibe. Let's adapt it to tabletop rpg magical items. 

Each item below has two abilities -- a "cantrip" and a "spell".

The cantrip is a magical effect which can be used freely and repeatedly by anyone with even the slightest bit of magical experience, or even by the magically ignorant if they fiddle around with it for a few hours.

The spell is a more powerful effect, maybe taken from your standard wizard spell list, and can be used by anyone magically powerful enough to actually cast spells. Using the item's spell will deplete its charge, preventing either the cantrip or spell effect from being used until the next dawn.

I'm using GLOG-style magic, where spells are levelless and limited by the caster's pool of "Magic Dice". (See here or here for an explanation, and here for the full ruleset I'm using.) Anyone with Magic Dice can spend them to activate the device's spell effect, using the same system as if they had that spell in their head instead of in their hands.

If you adapt this concept to a system with leveled spells, then allow the device's spell-effect to be activated by expending a spell slot of the appropriate level.

On to the list! 

Skeleton Post 2019

It's a bestiary with over 300 skeleton variants. 42 pages long.

Too late for Halloween, and just in time to be late for Day of the Dead. Click here for the download link. I'll be back again next year with even more skeletons.

Again, here's the download link (PDF)

Variants for GLOG mishaps and Dooms.

Here's a primer to GLOG wizard stuff if you have no idea what I'm babbling on about.

One of the things GLOG magic has going for it is the tension associated with powerful spells. You can always add more juice to a spell, but it drastically increases the risk of [bad thing] or [very bad thing] happening.

The standard way it works is that doubles give you a random 'mishap', while triples give you a predetermined 'doom'. Your mishaps and your dooms are tied to your school of wizardry.

But I want to simplify and generalize that system to make it compatible with classless play ala Knave or Into the Odd. Type1Ninja's excellent ruleset here is what I've been using. It make two changes. Firstly, there is a single class-agnostic mishaps/doom table. Secondly, the trigger mechanism is changed from matching die faces to simply checking for a 6, with a secondary stat which ticks down over time to make dooms more likely. It's good! But it doesn't quite make my soul sing.

Here are a few untested spitball mechanisms along the same lines.

Signs of Angelic Heritage: A Table of d60 Biblical Oddities for Aasimar and Nephilim.

See that wheely thing in the lower right? That's yer pa.

I've seen complaints that in standard rpg settings, being half-angel essential amounts to being a very pretty human, which fails to capture the weirdness of old-school religious angels. So here's a list of traits that you might get when a properly Abrahamic angel sires a child with a mortal human.

I tried to include a variety of entries ranging from severe hinderance to mild superpower.

1. Trumpets sound whenever they arrive somewhere.
2. Left half extremely cold, right half extremely hot.
3. Supernatural affinity for playing trumpets. Nothing seems off about them until they start playing, but when the music starts, you can't help but weep.
4. Deep booming voice that commands respect.
5. Direct eye contact induces overwhelming terror. They wear shaded glasses so as to not be a nuisance.
6. Instead of eyes on their face, both eyes orbit around their head.
7. A hoop covered in eyes rotates around their waist. Makes it hard to fit through doorways, but they’ve found they can hang bags from it, so they’ve made a good career as a courier.
8. Has a wagon wheel growing out of their body like a tumor.
9. Rotates like a gimbal whenever they lose focus on, well, not rotating.
10. Eyes in hands.
11. Eyes everywhere except their face.
12. Too many eyes on their face.
13. They have an identical twin which drifts around in the air next to them.
14. Can only move around via cartwheeling.
15. Second face on back of head.
16. When they change direction, only their head rotates. If they want to move south, they have to side-shuffle
17. Has a bird head growing from their shoulder.
18. Always accompanied by gales of wind, even indoors.
19. Poofy hair. constantly charged with static electricity. 
20. Has a wire-frame cube floating around their body.
21. Lion-mane, bull horns, bird feathers. Kind of a mess to look at.
22. Can’t tell lies.
23. Doesn’t understand the concept of lies.
24. Causes nearby vegetation to dry out and burn.
25. Turns water into blood via touch. Skin covered in red after exertion.
26. Bodily fluids are extremely toxic.
27. Reduces the amount of light that bounces off of nearby objects and so appears to glow by comparison.
28. Locusts tend to congregate around them.
29. Screams proclamations about coming judgement.
30. All dirt is repelled from them. Clothes become clean, floors are automatically swept, topsoil is blown away as if by a horrible wind.
31. Golden bands encircle their body.
32. voice attracts birds. They hate birds.
33. They feel compelled to constantly sing praises. This makes them functionally mute, for most kinds of conversation.
34. They have a divine mandate to sing praises according to the heavenly schedule, and they burst into flame whenever they fail in their duties. But they lack the knowledge of what this schedule is. So they pretty much randomly catch on fire. Sleeps on stone. Carries around a bucket of water.
35. Can unlock doors with a thought, but cannot enter buildings that have been marked with blood.
36. Can move slightly into the fourth dimension. Body parts sometimes disappear.
37. Halo. The bright light makes it hard to sleep, so they have deep bags under their eyes.
38. Halo. The light is so bright that they have gone blind, and it hurts to look directly at them.
39. Standard angelic giant pigeon wings on back.
40. Dozens of regular-sized bird wings located in random places all over the body.
41. Body entirely tightly wrapped in wings.
42. Legs are made of wings. They can’t fly, and have to hobble around on a mass of feathers.
43. Wings in place of arms.
44. Wings on head. Tiny underdeveloped body. Can briefly flutter.
45. Has an inert, non-glowing halo floating around their head.
46. Just two wings covering their face. They constantly have to brush feathers out of their eyes.
47. They look just like a  normal human, but when you are close to them, you feel a pressure in your chest.
48. Hands hot like a burning coal.
49. Constantly wreathed in cold flames.
50. Appear to be made of snow.
51. Aura of intense uncomfortable heat.
52. Appears to be triplets, but is actually just one person with three bodies.
53. Always has a flaming sword. It’s not attached to their hands, but they can’t get rid of it. They were born holding a tiny warm dagger, and the weapon has grown with them. It gets more inconvenient and unwieldy each year.
54. They see normal now, but they came out of the womb in the form of a tiny fully grown man, with well-developed muscles and slight male-pattern baldness. Other than their size, their appearance hasn’t changed at all.
55. Can only speak Enochian.
56. Uncomfortably smooth.
57. Ten feet tall.
58. The size of an elephant.
59. Never stops growing, and doesn’t die of old age.
60. Sometimes accidentally moves from one point to another without passing through the intervening space.

Table of Random, and Likely Horrendous, Fluids.

D30^3 Divinatory Items

EDIT: Here's an even better generator.

d30 Item Types

1. SWORD
2. KNIFE
3. SPATULA
4. FRYING PAN
5. AXE
6. POLEARM
7. HAMMER
8. ARROW
9. BOW
10. TOME
11. CLUB
12. FLAIL
13. SHIELD
14. HELMET
15. BRACER
16. BREASTPLATE
17. BROOCH
18. PAIR OF BOOTS
19. SOCK
20. IOUN STONE
21. PARROT
22. GLASS BOTTLE
23. STICK
24. STAFF
25. RING
26. NECKLACE
27. BAG OF DIRT
28. CRYSTAL
29. GOBLET
30. SKULL

d30 Magical Alerts

1. GLOWS
2. BEEPS LOUDLY
3. SCREAMS
4. MOANS PLEASURABLY
5. VIBRATES
6. BECOMES ICE COLD
7. HEATS UP
8. EMITS IONIZING RADIATION
9. CHANGES COLOR
10. EMITS A NOXIOUS SMELL
11. EMITS A PLEASANT SMELL
12. PSYCHICALLY WHISPERS IN YOUR EAR
13. STOPS BUZZING
14. LEAKS OIL
15. LEAKS BLOOD
16. LEAKS DIRT
17. CHANGES FLAVOR
18. CATCHES FIRE
19. MELTS
20. STARTS RECITING SCRIPTURE
21. BECOMES HEAVIER
22. LEVITATES
23. EMITS SMOKE
24. BECOMES MOIST
25. TURNS INVISIBLE
26. PLAYS MUSIC
27. PULSES INFRASONICALLY
28. SHATTERS NEARBY GLASS
29. CALMLY LECTURES ABOUT [roll on category table]
30. roll twice more on this table

d30 Detectable Categories

1. UNDEAD
2. TREASURES
3. COINS
4. GEMS
5. HUMANS
6. ORCS
7. ELVES
8. DWARVES
9. GORBLINS
10. GODS
11. LIVING CREATURES
12. MAGIC USERS
13. HORSES
14. MONSTERS
15. SECRET DOORS
16. ENEMIES
17. FRIENDS
18. BEARS, DOGS, and MUSTELIDS
19. ARTHROPODS
20. CATS
21. SINNERS
22. TRAPS
23. DECENT RESTAURANTS
24. MERCHANTS
25. MAGICAL ITEMS
26. SOURCES OF WATER
27. BOOKS
28. DEMONS
29. YOUR RELATIVES
30. roll twice more on this table

Weird Creature/Familiar Generator

Behold!

By combining my grand exhaustive list of every animal in the cosmos with LawfulNeutral's arcane tables of metaphysical motivation and Dan's hideous pile of mutations (plus my own pile of mutations), and welding them together in the flames of my new generator, I have forged the ultimate in beast making technology.

Again, I say: Behold!

Click here to view the source list for this generator.

Your familiar appears to be a [personality] [animal] [mutationformat].
But in the spirit realm, it's [trueform]. Its  motivation is [motivation].

{mutationformat}
[mutation]
[mutation]
[mutation], and [mutation]
[mutation], [mutation], and [mutation]



{personality}
absentminded
agonizing
aloof
arbitrary
articulate
bizarre
business-like
busy
cantankerous
charismatic
clear-headed
clever
companionly
compassionate
conscientious
cowardly
crass
cruel
cultured
deceitful
decisive
deep
dependent
devious
dishonest
dry
dynamic
elegant
emotional
firm
flexible
forgiving
formal
fraudulent
gentle
gullible
healthy
hearty
helpful
iconoclastic
imaginative
impressionable
insouciant
kind
logical
mawkish
melancholic
miserly
moralistic
multi-leveled
mystical
naive
narcissistic
narrow
neglectful
neutral
noncommittal
noncompetitive
obnoxious
old-fashioned
opinionated
organized
peaceful
petty
plodding
possessive
prejudiced
private
prudent
realistic
regimental
repentant
romantic
scrupulous
secretive
sedentary
selfish
sentimental
small-thinking
soft
sporting
stable
stoic
strong
submissive
sympathetic
systematic
tasteful
teacherly
thoughtless
trusting
understanding
undisciplined
unfriendly
unimpressive
vacuous
well-rounded
wistful
youthful
zany


{trueform}
a pet rock
a rock with no sentimental value
a glowing crystal
a stone tablet
a perfect sphere of glass
a little blue dragonquest slime
a gelatinous cube
a gelatinous icosahedron   
a petri dish full of bacteria  
a little robot
a clockwork [animal]
a haunted doll
a golem
a talking car
a frankensteined corpse
a broken bottle
a plastic egg with a face drawn on
tangled string
??? probably not vomit ???
leather glove full of holes
sticky clump of hair
a tiny golden humanoid
a mass of writhing tentacles
a gem encrusted skull
nothing at all
an [animal] made of teeth
a hideous homunculus 
a living bloodstain 
a cherub
a tiny black hole
a living drawing
a formless shadow
an inverted [animal]
a faceless [animal] 
a [plant] with a face
a giant amoeba
a floating eyeball
a skeletal [animal]
a brown jenkin
a boneless [animal]
many colorful bubbles
a pulsing mass of meat
empty skin
a noxious cloud
a goat-headed child
a mirrored master
a devilish imp
a wheel covered in eyes
a floating cosmic fetus
a blemmyes
a nightgaunt
a flying polyp
living lightning
living fire
living smoke
a tiny dragon
a living severed hand
a will o’wisp
an amorphous slime
two goblins in a trench coat
a shoggoth
a ball of energy with many arms
a kite made of starry night sky
living ice
a living [animal] shadow
two intertwined humanoids
a tiny fairy noble
a coronet of weapons
a constantly flowering/decaying flower
a crystalline [animal]
a gate with legs
a floating piece of furniture
a [animal] covered in shrouds
a [animal]-shaped starry night sky
a flaming egg bearing a single rune
a window into other world
a headless [animal]
a [animal] with a strange mask
an animated knight harness
an [animal] with transparent skin
a tiny star
a smooth humanoid with no features except a mouth
a floating crystal key
a writhing animate sigil
a pygmy pale man
a one eyed umbrella 
a tiny human-faced planetoid
a desiccated saint
a coronet of hands with eyes
an abstract silver mechanism
living blood
a flaming glyph
a tiny sandstorm
a beautiful homunculus
a moebius strip
a many-armed bodhisattva
a microorganism invisible to the naked eye
a brutish gargoyle
different every time it's percieved
living water
an escher-like pattern
a brain and spine with construct legs
a [animal]’s cardiovascular system
a completely smooth shape
a a long dead relative
a cheshire [animal]
a small misshapen clone of you
a cenobite [animal]
a fat demon wearing a crown 
brilliant fire with six wings
a tattered mascot/costume
a living ball gown
a humanoid with many snakes for legs
a hollow suit of armor
a wendigo
a tiny version of a [animal] in a bottle
a swarm of hellish insects
a small aurora borealis
a floating grimoire
frickin' Buer again, that scamp
a crudely taxidermied [animal]
a [animal] made of spoons and twine
exactly what it looks like
tiny brown bubbles
a pool of blood
a glowing streamer
a ring of blue smoke
a splash of ink
a bundle of taught floating wires
ripples in the air
an animated drawing
a fractal, swirling pattern
a crystalline [plant]
a jet of dust
a tiny [animal] made of congealed light
a tattered stream of cloth
a translucent orb
a living mass of leaves
living ink
a tiny stormcloud
an arrowhead dashing back and forth through the air
a disembodied, sinewy hand
living snow
flower petals
a cracked glass [animal]
a perfectly equilateral yellow triangle




{motivation}
honor
the law
cultivation
discovering hidden truths and lies
recording facts
creating new life
preservation
devotion to others
domination
destruction
passion
raw ambition
to be autonomous
petty revenge
iconoclasm
purging the weak
toppling the powerful
political power
sexual pursuits
self disillusionment
cosmic truth
magical power
construction of its “great work”
aligning the stars
completing “the ritual”
evangelism 
consumption of flesh
the pursuit of wealth
exploration
ars gratia artis
charity
directionless sadism
nihilism
extreme vainglory
selfless altruism
purification of the self
purification of others
unfission
black and white justice
blue and orange justice
anarchy
obsessive random collecting
glory hounding
spreading moral decay
spreading moral enlightenment
targeted assassination
wanton violence
prevention of entropy
encouragement of entropy
the creation of utopia
proving a universal axiom
seeding mistrust
formation of bonds
severing of bonds
extreme asceticism
extreme hedonism
vague destiny
releasing its imprisoned master
protecting the weak
restoring its good name
spite
preventing the escape of the enemy
courting romantic interests
the thrill of the hunt
gourmet
scientific documentation
usurping a usurper
finding something lost
historical documentation
stopping the apocalypse
forgetting a troubled past
hiding from betrayed allies
remembering its past
freedom from obligations
starting the apocalypse
collecting contracts
collecting bounties
collecting relics
infiltration of secret societies
theft of secrets
protecting secrets
spreading scientific advancement
igniting conflict
preventing conflict
impovering the land
rejuvenating the land
a very precise destiny
escapism
wallowing in its tragic past
finding a worthy successor
returning the land to nature
spreading religion
glamour
the genocide of [animal]s
reviving an extinct species
finding worthy adversary
playing the cosmic “game”
inverting social norms
enforcing social norms
justified revenge
disproving an unsatisfying axiom
colonizing the land
avoiding its vengeful ex
hiding from bounty hunters
completing a graduation trial
adding to its extremely specific collection
to catch them
to train them
“observation”
an unstable thing that changes every day
literally stealing candy from babies
a mystery even to itself
[motivation] and [motivation]


{animal}
witch's butter
fly agaric
bearded tooth
bleeding tooth
death cap
cordyceps-infested bug
moldy bread
scarlet elf cap
slime mold
chicken of the woods
prototaxite
glass sponge
calcarea
demosponge
homoscleromorpha
comb jelly
brain coral 
pipe coral
stony coral
zoanthid
sea whip
sea pen
anemone
man-o-war
box jelly
lion's mane jelly
moon jelly
irukandji
immortal jellyfish  
moss animal
salp
pyrosome
sea squirt
sea pork
sea tulip
piure 
mimic
leech
earthworm
bobbit worm
christmas tree worm
feather duster worm
sand mason worm
pompeii worm
bearded fireworm
ragworm
bone eating snot flower
methane-eating worm
giant tube worm
mongolian death worm
spoonworm
peanut worm
nematode
horsehair worm
penis worm
mud dragon
goblet worm
bedford's flatworm
tiger flatworm
candycane worm
planarian
fluke
tapeworm
acorn worm
arrow worm
ribbon worm
horseshow worm
gastrotrich
velvet worm
water bear
trilobite
anomalocaris
sea spider
horseshoe crab
orb-weaver
portia
peacock spider
trapdoor spider
funnel-web 
wolf spider
tarantula
diving bell spider
net-casting spider
mirror spider
twig spider
ant mimic spider
burrowing scorpion
bark scorpion
emperor scorpion
deathstalker
tanzanian red claw scorpion
fattail scorpion
hairy scorpion
pseudoscorpion
whip spider
mite
tick
harvestmen
vinegaroon
camel spider
sleipnir
giant african millipede
amazonian giant centipede
house centipede
pauropoda
sea monkey
tadpole shrimp
copepod
barnacle
mantis shrimp
krill
woodlouse
giant isopod
tongue-eating louse
roly poly
crayfish
shrimp
lobster
squat lobster
porcelain crab
hermit crab
king crab
spider crab
spanner crab
fiddler crab
ghost crab
helmet crab
giant enemy crab
springtail
conehead
bristletail
silverfish
mayfly
dragonfly
ice crawler
lice
thrip
booklice
cicada
aphid
scale insect
whitefly
planthopper
leafhopper
moss bug
water strider
assassin bug
bedbug
stink bug
shield bug
leaf-footed bug
titan beetle
hercules beetle
elpehant beetle
goliath beetle
atlas beetle
stag beetle
featherwing beetle
ladybird beetle
weevil
mealworm
deathwatch beetle
warty leaf beetle
firefly
click beetle
bombadier beetle
doodlebug
tiger beetle
whirligig
sacred scarab
golden tortoise beetle
hornet
tarantula hawk
social wasp
cuckoo wasp
potter wasp 
sand wasp
army ant
leafcutter ant
fire ant
carpenter ant
bullet ant
honeypot ant
killer bee
honeybee
bumblebee
mason bee
carpenter bee
plasterer bee
atlas moth
silk moth
grease moth
ornate moth
death's head moth
luna moth
monarch 
zebra swallowtail 
forest mother-of-pearl
blue morpho
peacock pansy
cramer's eighty-eight
glasswing
black swallowtail
flea
housefly
horsefly
robberfly
botfly
soldierfly
cranefly
mosquito
lovebug
snakefly
antlion
dobsonfly
webspinner
stick insect
grasshopper
cricket
katydid
weta
cockroach
termite
mantid
earwig
twisted-wing parasite
sea urchin
sunflower sea star
crown-of-thorns starfish
common sea star
red knob sea star
royal starfish
brisingid
brittle star
sea pig
pineapple sea cucumber
orange sea cucumber
giant california sea cucumber
japanese spiky sea cucumber
chocolate chip sea cucumber
snake sea cucumber
sea apple
sea lily
sand dollar       
dwarf seahorse
candiru
mudskipper
climbing perch
flying fish
lungfish
frogfish
elephantnose fish 
bony eared assfish
flounder
barreleye
lamprey
sting ray
pufferfish
lionfish
hagfish
electric eel
sarpa salpa, the dreamfish
beluga sturgeon
giant oar fish
ocean sunfish
manta ray
great white shark
whale shark
sardine
carp
trout
talapia
mackerel
catfish
sockeye salmon
alaska pollock
swordfish
yellowfin tuna
alantic cod
blue marlin
koi
blue tang
clownfish
sea dragon
angelfish
betta splendens
coelacanth
dunkleosteus
tiktaalik
haikouichthys
stethacanthus
megapiranha
fur bearing trout
mermaid
mermaid
dolphin wielding a knife
namazu
Leviathan
hammerhead shark
wobegong
carpenter shark
cookiecutter shark
thresher shark
goblin shark
poison arrow frog
bullfrog
grassland 
slippery
treefrog
riverfrog
bufo
harlequin toad
suriname toad
cane toad
beaked toad
snouted toad
olm
axolotl
siren
crested newt
hellbender
giantsalamander
marbled slamander
mud salamander
mole salamander
mythical firey salamander
caecilian
eocaecilia
diplocaulus
loggerhead turtle
box turtle
snapping turtle
galapagos tortoise
soft-shelled turtle
leatherback turtle
mud turtle
mata mata
snakeneck turtle
big headed turtle
tuatara
worm lizard
mexican mole lizard
crested gecko
fat-tailed gecko
leaf-tail gecko
clawed gecko
gargoyle gecko
leopard gecko
tokay gecko
new caledonian giant gecko
veiled chameleon
horned chameleon
panther chameleon
brookesia micra
giant chameleon
brown leaf chameleon
green iguana
marine iguana
rock iguana
desert iguana
spiny-tailed iguana
chuckwalla
mosasaur
blue tailed skink
red eye crocodile skink
prehensile-tailed skink
indian skink
komodo dragon
malayan water monitor
nile monitor
bengal monitor
tree crocodile
blue spotted tree monitor
secret toadhead agama 
shield-tailed agama
spiny-tailed lizard
sailfin lizard
thorny devil
frilled-neck lizard
rainforest dragon
bearded dragon
mountain horned dragon
garden lizard
oriental garden lizard
fan throated lizard
hump nosed lizard
flying lizard
jabberwocky
hydra
wyvern
dragon turtle
long
pixiu
jaculus
gila monster
spinytail lizard
plated lizard
collared lizard
spectacled lizard
anole
wall lizard
tegu
basilisk
basilisk
blind snake
cobra
mamba
sea krait
coral snake
spider-tailed horned viper
spiny bush viper
copperhead
rattlesnake
eyelash viper
long nose viper
taipan
spreading adder
flying snake
boa constrictor
green anaconda
emerald tree boa
rainbow boa
sand boa
titanoboa
pipe snake
black-headed python
burmese python
albino burmese python
reticulated python
scrub python
pygmy python
blood python
calabar python
rat snake
vine snake
garden snake
elephant trunk snake
tentacled snake 
tschuchinoko
hoop snake
feathered serpent
crocodile
alligator
caiman
gharial
dwarf crocodile
tomistoma
pterosaur
rhynchosaur
loch ness monster
longneck
threehorn
duckbill
spiketail
sharptooth
smashyhead
microraptor
yi qi
ostrich
emu
rhea
cassowarry
kiwi
tinamou
moa
chicken
junglefowl
quail
partridge
pheasant
turkey
grouse
peafowl
chachalaca
cockatrice
duck
goose
swan
magpie goose    
screamer                
demon duck
bony-toothed bird
crane
barn owl
screech owl
elf owl
bubo
strix
burrowing owl
mousebird
hornbill
woodpecker
toucan
honeyguide
barbet
kingfisher
trogon
terror bird
harpy eagle
monkey-eating eagle
bald eagle
golden eagle
martial eagle
steller's sea eagle
buzzard
hawk
condor
bearded vulture
griffon vulture
king vulture
turkey vulture
hooded vulture
osprey
secretarybird
kestrel
peregrine
hobby
merlin
sparrow hawk
gyrfalcon
cockatoo
macaw
lovebird
lorikeet
budgie
kakapo
cardinal
thrush
babbler
lark
tit
robin
rook
crow
raven
magpie
jay
jackdaw
bird-of-paradise
shrike
rockfowl
cowbird
finch
swallow
hoatzin
hummingbird
potoo
flamingo
grebe
shorebird
gull
auk
tropicbird
loon
albatross
emperor penguin
chinstrap penguin
little blue penguin
rockhopper
macaroni penguin
jackass penguin
stork
boobie
cormorant
frigate
snakebird
pelican
shoebill
heron
ibis
spoonbill
hamerkop
dodo
white-bellied green pigeon
rock dove
pigmy pouter
fantail
frillback
short-faced tumbler
capuchin pigeon
english carrier
roadrunner
coua
common cuckoo
malkoha
turaco
bustard
phoenix
scutosaurus
hypsognathus
mesosaurus
eunotosaurus
tetraceratops
ophiacodon
dimetrodon
cotylorhynchus
proburnetia
anteosaur
estemmenosuchus
placerias
wadiasaurus
gorgonopsid
pristerognathus
tritylodon
platypus
short-beaked echidna
long-beaked echidna
steropodon
kangaroo
oppossum
possum
sugar glider
koala
wombat
bandicoot
marsupial mole
tasmanian devil
tasmanian tiger
sea cow
dugong
elephant
hyrax
tenrec
golden mole
elphant shrew
aardvark
glyptodont
pink fairy armadillo
three-banded armadillo
yellow armadillo
screaming hairy armadillo
giant armadillo
long-nosed armadillo
silky anteater
giant anteater
northern tamandua
southern tamandua
three-toed sloth
two-toes sloth
giant ground sloth
sloth so slow that it fell out of time
hoolock
siamang
lar gibbon
crested gibbon
orangutan
gorilla
chimpanzee
homo erectus
homo sapiens
neanderthal
denisovan
hobbit
elf
gigantopithecus
bigfoot
roswell grey
macaque
baboon
langus
proboscis monkey
mandrill
mangabe
tamarin
marmoset
capuchin
saki monkey
howlermonkey
spidermonkey
uakari
squirrel monkey
ruffed lemur
sifaka
ring-tailed lemur
koala lemur
bush baby
aye-aye
potto
loris
tarsier
flying lemur
treeshrew
pygmy rabbit
sumatran striped rabbit
flemish giant 
netherland dwarf
angora
lop-eared rabbit
hare
pika
jackalope
carbuncle
springhare
beaver
kangaroo rat
gopher
mole rat
terrestrial porcupine                    
chinchilla
viscacha
hutia
guinea pig
cabybara
mara
spiny rat
paca
pacarana
arboreal porcupine
red squirrel
grey squirrel
malabar giant squirrel
grizzled giant squirrel
flying squirrel
red giant flying squirrel
pygmy squirrel
chipmunk
prarie dog
marmot                 
rat
mouse
gerbil
crested rat
vole
lemming
muskrat
hamster
pack rat
deer mouse
dormouse
jerboa
solenodon
moonrat
shrew
hedgehog
mole
desman
giant flying fox
blossom bat
tube-nosed fruit bat
nectar bat
rousette
monkey-faced bat
vampire bat
vesper bat
horshoe bat
ghost-faced bat
sac-winged bat
mouse-tailed bat
pangolin
husky
corgi
poodle
chihuahua
greyhound
afghan
akita
mastiff
bulldog
dachshund
german shepherd
chow chow
wolf
coyote
jackal
red fox
arctic fox
fennec fox
pipe-fox
tanuki
dhole
maned wolf
bush dog
cù sìth
sloth bear
brown bear
polar bear
black bear
panda bear
sun bear
sea lion
elephant seal
walrus
monk seal
fur seal
harbor seal
weasel
badger
otter
marten
mink
wolverine
grison
polecat
skunk
racoon
coati
kinkajou
olingo
olinguito
ringtail
cacomistle
red panda
tiger
lion
jaguar
leopard
caracal
serval
ocelot
lynx
cheetah
puma
pallas cat
persian
hairless sphynx 
siamese
scottish fold
maine coon
munchkin
smilodon 
civet
linsang
genet 
bearcat
mongoose
meerkat
kusimanse
fossa 
hyena
leucrotta
manticore
narwhal
dolphin
beluga
porpoise
false killer whale
pygmy sperm whale
beaked whale
baleen whale
hippo
domestic pig
wild boar
warthog
deer-pig
forest hog
pygmy hog
dromedary
bactrian
alpaca
llama
guanaco
vicuña
saola
bison
buffalo
cattle
auroch
yak
mountain goat
goat
sheep
ibex
muskox
serow
impala
gazelle
wildebeest
gerenuk
dik-dik
oryx
kudu
saiga
bonnacon
giraffe
okapi
beast of shanxi
shiva's beast
decennatherium
qilin
pronghorn
elk
moose
red deer
white-tailed deer
reindeer
water deer
pudu
tufted deer
musk deer
chevrotain
chalicothere
horse
mule
ass
zebra
pegasus
kelpie
white rhinoceros
black rhinoceros
sumatran rhinoceros
unicorn
baird's tapir
lowland tapir
kabomani tapir
mountain tapir
malayan tapir
baku
lancelet
lampshell
chiton
tusk shell
clam
oyster
mussel
cockle
scallop
geoduck
giant land snail
conch
periwinkle
escargot
abalone
cone snail
bubble snail
golden snail
banana slug
leopard slug
blue dragon nudibranch
orange peeel doris
sea lemon
spanish dancer
lion nudibranch
clown nudibranch
regal sea goddess
diamondback tritonia
spanish shawl
chromodoris
phylliroe
eastern emerald elysia
lettuce sea slug
headshield slug
sea hare
semislug            
limpet
nautilus
flapjack octopus
blue-ringed octopus
glowing sucker octopus
coconut octopus
giant octopus
common octopus
telescope octopus
seven arm octopus
blanket octopus
wunderpus
mimic octopus
argonaut
vampire squid
collosal squid
bigfin squid
flying squid
pencil squid
whip-lash squid
deepsea squid
spirula
cuttlefish 



{plant}
potted fern
coconut
dried-out stick
venus fly trap
pitcher plant
bladderwort
bramble
bamboo
kudzu
sundew
bonsai tree
cactus


{mutation}
colored vivid {red|orange|yellow|green|blue|purple}
with glowing eyes
with the eyes of a [animal]
with the skin of a [animal]
with the mind of a [animal]
with membranous wings
with feathery wings
with insect wings
with the limbs of a [animal]
with the face of a [animal]
that looks like a [animal] in the mirror
surrounded by a swarm of tiny [animal]s
which commands the respect of every [animal]
with poisonous foot-spurs
with a bite that makes the target allergic to meat 
with a gigantic purple nose-cleaning tongue 
with the ability to spray blood out of its eyes 
which will starve to death in front of food if it's not prepared quite right
whose head swells with fragrant ambergris  
with dozens of eggs embedded in the skin of its back 
with corkscrew horns and beard of chaos 
with huge heat-radiators for ears
which resembles a terribly venomous creature 
with a hump filled with fatty nutrient supply 
with necrotic bacterial spit 
with a crown of stinging tendrils 
with overlapping armored scales 
with a freakishly extended tapping finger 
with loose skin flaps between wrists and ankles 
with an abdominal pouch 
whose skin is striped black and white 
with incredible head rotation 
with a parasitic tongue-louse 
with rows of sharp, replaceable teeth 
with adorable pink fan gills 
which can sense when someone is about to die 
with shaggy fur and prehensile trunk 
with a musical bone crest 
which is immune to pain from acid and capsasin 
with a horrifyingly distendable stomach 
with a buoyant, curling shell 
which can create sticky, microfibrous slime 
which is friendly with tooth-cleaning {[animal]|bird}s 
which is friend-shaped  
with a loud musical penis 
with a cavitation claws 
which can shoves its ribs through its skin to defend against attack 
with an inflatable nasal sac 
with webbed feet which let it run on water 
which reverts to embryo-form after adulthood
which has an extended rostrum with transverse teeth 
which smells like fresh popcorn 
which can vomit up its digestive tract in defense 
with a face full of tentacles 
with slick transparent skin 
with huge feet for subsonic communication 
with a milk-producing udder 
with a suction-cup head 
with a brilliant plumage 
which can sleep with only half of its brain
with hideous facial tumors 
with bright blue feet 
which is inexplicably tapir-like
with a body primarily composed of electricity generators
which shrinks when hungry
whose skin pops off when its startled
with giant terrifying fangs that protrude from mouth
with the instinctive compulsion to perform lobotomies
whose bodily fluids are potent hallucinogens
which is completely naked and covered in sweat
with appendages on either side of the mouth which shoot out glue
whose vocalizations resemble industrial noises
with giant eyes that burn away each day and regrow each night
which is bioluminescent
with a spring-loaded spine for turbo charged backflips
with long thin legs and neck
which has a growth on its back that resembles a [animal]
whic sweats bright red sunscreen
with a long tongue which  winds around through holes in its skull to act as a built-in helmet
with fingers on its {face|legs|feet|wings|arms|back|tongue}
which is photosynthetic
with barbed hooks on its skin
which sprays acid from butt
with teeth that never stop growing
with a dangly lure hanging from its face
which becomes immobile and eats its own brain
which can stun other creatures by screaming loudly
with taste buds all over its body
with a huge body and a tiny head
with 12-inch thick skin
with a broad protuberance on its face that can be used to sense electromagnetic fields
with telescoping, upward facing eyes surrounded by a transparent reflective dome
which is supernaturally good at predicting the movements of other creatures, but needs to sit motionless for an hour observing the creature before it can act
with defensive quills
whose joints shift around so that it can curl up into a ball
with a beautiful unicorn horn which is actually a tooth
which is covered with spikes which transport fluid to its mouth
with a thin tail which can be used as a whip
with breathes through its skin (no lungs)
with eyes on swivels
whose skin can change color and texture
with a goofy-looking air-filtering nose
which is inflatable
with tiny, pathetic, useless wings
with limbs lined with razor sharp suction cups
with scythe-like jaws
with loose wrinkly skin
with curled prehensile tail
which reproduces by budding
with a  nearly 2-dimensional body
which can fit through any hole larger than its head
whose eyes are useless
with fleshy growths on the nose which have a highly delicate sense of touch. It can predict earthquakes by shoving its face into dirt
with broad pads on its feet which stick to walls
with  big feathery mouthparts for filter feeding
with 5 eyes, a backwards-facing mouth, and a bendy claw arm on face
with a third eye in the middle of the forehead
whose knees retract into its body
covered in dense soft fur which makes water dangerous 
with backwards {hands|feet|hands and feet}
that resembles wood
with giant shovel hands
which leaves behind a scent trail
with an elongated neck
that rolls like some sort of demented wheel
with bright eyespots to confuse  predators
with a long tail in place of its hind legs
with retractable spikes that bursts out of its eyes
with an internal turtleshell
with antennae that enhance its sense of smell
which can explode
with a tiny malformed twin inside its skin
of unusually small size
of unusually large size
with {1|2|3|4|5|6} heads
whose rear has the head of a [animal]
as pale as moonlight
as dark as a raven
mixed with a [animal]
with a proboscis
with a {slicing|crushing|hooked killing|flat|chisel-like|net-like|thin probing} beak
which lives in  a shell stolen from another creature
with a stinger on its butt
with antlers
with a neck frill
with a thick head for ramming
with long claws
with retractable claws
with one big spike on each limb
which has just a single finger in place of each foot
with cutting Incisors
with meaty lobster Claws
with one Big Crab Claw
with mantis-style Forelimbs
with a spiked tail
with a club-like tail
with a large sail of spines connected by skin
with incredibly {kicking|punching|headbutting} ability
with a pharyngeal Jaw
which uses its {claws|teeth|spines|tail} to deliver potent venom which  [venomeffect]
which has mastered the art of fire
with a turtle Shell
protexted by a clam shell
covered in a chitonous exoskeleton
which is poisonous (do not eat)
which releases an ink cloud when threatened
covered in osteoderms
that plays dead
with body parts that fall off to distract predators
with extreme temperature resistance
which can enter stasis
which can rapidly regrow limbs
that does not age
which can metamorphose into a new form. This new form is a [animal] [mutation]
which is very fat
which purifies its surroundings
with heat sensitive pits in its face
with a big nose for tracking smells
with accute hearing
that echolocates
which can sense magnetic fields
with 360 degree vision
with ultraviolet vision
which can see polarized light
with a body covered in sensitive hairs
with big whiskers
which can sense blood
with an excellent sense of air pressure
with five feathery wings
which likes to ride around on a parachute
that can jump 10 times its own height
that can sprint at incredibly speeds
which is skilled at endurance running
that Burrows underground
that slithers
which is bouyant
which is amphibious
with skin that hypnotically pulses 
with striped skin
with spotted skin
which is more ugly than usual
with a beautiful mane of soft hair
with reflective camouflage 
which attaches foliage to its own body
with too many limbs
with atrophied limbs
with fewer limbs than usual
with really short limbs
covered in fleshy protrusions that look like limbs but aren't really
with extreme sexual dimorphism
which never stops growing
which moves in packs
which is in a symbiotic relationship with [animal]s
which is part a eusocial hivemind
which produces an artistic mating display
which engages in ritualistic combat
that is capable of language
which perfectly Mimics Sounds
which sings
that carries babies around in its mouth
that builds eleborate nests
that forces other creatures to raise its young
that has a strong nuturing instinct 
that engages in war
which kills for fun
which can remember faces and holds a grudge 
which has learned to engage in economic transactions
which lays eggs
which suffers from alcoholism
which uses tools
with opposable thumbs
with a vise-like grip
with a prehensile {tongue|nose|lip|penis}
which can eat stone
with cheek pouches for storage
which drinks blood
with cookie-cutter jaws it uses to steal chunks of flesh
which lives on top of a [animal]
which lives inside of a [animal]
which can eat radiation
which can steal abilities from things it eats
which farms tiny [animal]s for food
which has a symbiotic relationship with a [plant]
which eats only meat
which vomits up nutritious food
which levitates
which weaves sticky nets
which sheds spores

{venomeffect}
causes pain
causes bleeding
causes paralysis
causes hallucinations
dissolves flesh
clots blood