Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts

Saturday, October 1, 2022

22 Magical Teas, and the Plants from Which they're Made

The following is a list of 22 strange plants used for brewing magical teas. Each entry describes where this plant can be found or how it can be cultivated. Each accompanying image is AI-generated by Wombo's Dream AI.

This was written for Stick for the Spring 2022 Secret Jackalope blogpost exchange. My apologies for the delay.

1. Bartered Tea

Tea made from the Il Plagato plant promotes a calm mind and enhances physical dexterity, but only if the leaves are willingly given to the harvester. Stolen leaves are bitter and have a diuretic effect. Such plants are typically willing to part with some leaves in exchange for entertainment, and are known to be especially fond of juggling.

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Platescape: Outer Plates of Cuisine


Once again, my deepest apologies to Zeb Cook.

In the Planescape setting, the Inner Planes are worlds each comprised purely of some classical element. In the totally unrelated Platescape setting, the Inner Plates are each comprised purely of some food group. You can read more about that here.

In Planescape, there's also a great wheel of Outer Planes, corresponding to the standard D&D alignments of Good vs. Evil and Lawful vs. Chaotic. In Platescape, the Outer Plates correspond to the different kinds of dining experiences.

On one axis, we have Delicious vs. Repulsive. Delicious cuisine aims to evoke gustatory pleasure, satisfying the desires of the diner. Repulsive cuisine eschews these desires as irrelevant, or actively seeks to create an unpleasant dining experience.

On the other axis, we have Healthy vs. Unhealthy. Healthy cuisine aims to provide the diner with the optimal profile of macro and micronutrients. Unhealthy doesn't give a hoot.


Behold! The Great Smörgåsbord Cosmology:




The Outer Plates
The Iron Heavens The Test Kitchens Grillysium Hunting Grounds Party Mountain
Grandmarcadia ↑Delicious↑ Valhalunch
Dietus,
the Fitness Nirvana
←Healthy Everything Bagel Unhealthy→ LIMBO
The March ↓Repulsive↓ The Empty Pan
Super-food Hell Ghhhhgh Compost Bin Cosmic Supermax The Abyss 






——=== 🥪 ===—— 






Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Doors, Shores, and Parallel Zones: a guide to the boundaries between worlds

So you're jumping around between parallel dimensions.  But what's the crossover like?

Here's a quick taxonomy, sorted in increasing order of smoothness.

 

Doors 

(Also known as gates, portals, wormholes, cosmic glory holes, or rifts. )

An enclosed frame holding a flat region of warped space which is connected to a paired surface elsewhere in the cosmos. Any particle which passes through the frame is transported to the other world. (Some doors connect to an intermediary demiplane, and so resemble a tunnel.)

These are the most common and easiest-to-understand type of planar boundary, and most cross-dimensional spells work by opening these doors.

The defining characteristic of this kind of boundary is that local space is entirely normal close to the boundary and then experiences a discontinuity.

d6 doors found in the Plates of Flavor:

  1. A small pond of cream found in the Plate of Sweets. Jump in and you'll pop out of a similar pond in the Plate of Meats. Unfortunately, the pond has a tendency to move around when no one is paying attention to it.
  2. An elephant-sized peach pit lays in the deserts of the Plate of Seed. Small tunnels dot its surface, just large enough to crawl through. Most of the tunnels are shelter to vermin, but one opens out into a giant half-eaten peach in the valley of unripened fruit. 
  3. The city of Everything Bagel, found at the center of the Great Buffet of the outer plates, is just riddled with doors. Nobody actually lives there except for the Lady of Propane. All the other people bustling about were just unfortunate enough to have a random portal open up connected to their refrigerator or shower drain or something like that.
  4. If you dig deep into the crust of the pastry plains, sometimes you'll find a pocket of filling connecting to some other world. A custard pocket connecting to the plain of sweets. A pocket of garbage connecting to the prime material. Etc.
  5. Dionysus has a big inter-dimensional portal that he just uses to dump half-eaten chicken wings.  No clue where the other end opens up.
  6. Dump enough fish sauce into any whirlpool and it will briefly transform into a portal to the shallow sea.



Hyperbolic Shores

A transition into another world with noticeable spatial distortions, but no discontinuities.

For example, you're in the Boiling Oil Ocean, cruising around on your turnip barge. You see an island made of meat off in the distance, giant billowing fingers dressing its shores. After cruising around a bit, the island doesn't seem too large. But when you land and go to explore its interior, you find that it's infinitely large and in fact contains the entire Elemental Plate of Meat.

Meanwhile, from the Meat side of things, you approach a lake of oil. You can easily walk around the entire thing in a matter of hours, but can't see across to the shore on the other side. The lake, is in fact, the entirety of the infinite Plate of Oil.

Another common kind of shore are the ones that form in large book collections. As we all know, a dense enough concentration of knowledge can cause spacial distortions, making libraries and bookstores bigger on the inside or even connecting them to L-space. Because such distortions are noticeable, but locally continuous, they count as Shores.






Parallel Zones

Characterized by a transition to another world despite the lack of absolutely any sort of spatial distortion.

You know, that crazy fairy kind of stuff where you're walking in the woods down a path you've travelled many times before, but it's unusually spooky this time and then somehow you find yourself trapped in an endless twilight forest. And it turns out it's because the vice-archduchess of the fey or whomever wanted to look at your hat was lined with beaver pelt from a particular magical beaver is seeking its revenge. Okay, we're back. It's fine.

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Table of Random, and Likely Horrendous, Fluids.



Monday, January 28, 2019

The dirt merchant. (A filthy alternative to potions.)

(Made using my button generator here.)


d120 ENCHANTED DIRTS

A dirt alchemist enchanting dirt.

Monday, August 6, 2018

OSR Class: Meat Mage


A few weeks ago, I wrote about a cosmology for a food-based version of the inner planes, and of course there has to be an Elemental Plate of Meats.

Then recently, I came across Chris Tamm's Xor setting, which has loads of excellent tables for a meat world. (Though it focuses more on the body horror stuff instead of the food stuff.) There's even a list of meat spells!

So here's a horrible meat wizard inspired by that list.

Original art by Sara Winters

(This is a wizarding school for Arnold K's GLOG system. The base details for the wizard class can be found here, and the spellcasting rules can be found here.)

Sunday, August 5, 2018

d60 Fish



FISH WHICH GO WEIRD PLACES OR MOVE STRANGELY
1. Dwarf seahorse
2. Candiru
3. Mudskipper
4. Climbing Perch
5. Flying Fish
6. Lungfish

Saturday, August 4, 2018

d30 List of Eggs

  1. Chicken Egg
  2. Quail Egg
  3. Turkey Egg
  4. Eagle Egg
  5. Ostrich Egg
  6. Hummingbird Egg
  7. Dinosaur Egg
  8. Turtle Egg
  9. Alligator Egg
  10. Small Pile of Fish Eggs
  11. Shark Egg
  12. Cockroach Larva Sac
  13. Spined Soldier Bug Eggs
  14. Cluster of Octopus Eggs
  15. Platypus Egg
  16. Double-yolk Chicken Egg
  17. Hardboiled Egg
  18. Rabbit Egg, brightly painted.
  19. Human Egg. A little homunculus will come out if you incubate it.
  20. Actual Human Egg. Barely visible to the naked eye.
  21. Golf ball
  22. Frosted Glass Orb
  23. Empty Eggshell
  24. Eggshell Smokebomb
  25. Eggshell Full of Gunpowder and Sawdust. Makes a loud noise and a small fire.
  26. Eggshell Full of Confetti
  27. Egg with two smaller eggs inside, each of which have two even smaller eggs, etc.
  28. An Eggplant
  29. Darning Egg. (Wooden, used for fixing socks)
  30. Fossil Egg