Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Nonsense Magic Item Generator

I added a bunch of extra effects to the magic item generator here. It ended up a lot less coherent, but it's still functional if you assume the magic items it's generating are all rejects found in a dumpster. Generate Items by clicking the following buttons:








I made this using my list to html button generator.
Click to expand the source list
Congratulations! You have created [item] that [effect] [trigger].


{item}
a sword
a knife
a spatula
a frying pan
an axe
a pole arm
a hammer
an arrow
a bow
a tome
a club
a flail
a piece of paper
three tiny {[category]} glued together
a shield
a small egg
a helmet
a bracer
a breastplate
a brooch
a pair of boots
a sock
an ioun stone
flatbread
a parrot
a glass bottle
a stick
a staff
a ring
a necklace
a bag of dirt
[container] of [substance]
[container]
a crystal
Some beef
One of your distant cousins
a bonsai tree
a moldy leaf
a spinning top
a pair of spectacles
a telescope
a crystal ball
an orb
a warm biscuit
a deck of playing cards
a belt
a watch
a large {cube|sphere|dodecahedron} of [substance]
a painting of [category]
a grenade
a flintlock pistol
a cloak
a very large pointy hat
a pair of trousers
a skirt
a scarf
a [solid] trinket
a goblet
a skull
a dagger
a lantern
an eyeball
a severed hand
a broom
a flower
a potted cactus
a butterfly
a mirror
a scroll
a cauldron
a stick
a rod
a coin
a clover
a human heart
a house
a mushroom
a radio
a weird rock
a train
a bracer
an elevator
a rope
a crown
an acorn
a shelving unit
a bell
a pair of shades
a sanitary item
a mechanical owl
a discus
a javelin
a watch
a belt
a sponge
a glass eye
a set of dice
a bathrobe
a boot full of holes
a tin can
a crown
a tiara
a backpack
an umbrella
a coconut
a tree`
some bamboo
a shimmering distortion in space
a sportsball
a medallion
a paddle
a trumpet
a quill




{container}
a jug
a cistern
a drum
a barrel
a fishtank
a shoe full
a bucket
a bottle
a puddle
a bathtub
a waterskin
an amphora
a canteen
a lake
a spoonful
a pot
a glass
a hole
a vial
a flask
an ampoule
a basin
a wok
a canteen
a decanter
a jerrycan
a keg
a pitcher
a vat
a cauldron
a mannequin
a creepy doll



{effect}
glows
beeps loudly
screams about {[category]|[substance]}
vibrates
changes length
changes mass
becomes {heavier|lighter}
changes size
becomes {larger|smaller}
transfigures nearby [category] into [substance]
changes color
becomes ice cold
becomes burning hot
changes flavor
emits ionizing radiation
leaks [substance]
jumps to your hand
nullifies magic
reveals the invisible
shoots out a beam of [substance]
launches forth a torrent of {[substance]|[substance]|[substance]|[category]}
coats [userSubject] in [substance]
transforms nearby {[substance]|[category]} into {[substance]|[category]}
repels nearby {[substance]|[category]}
attracts nearby {[substance]|[category]}
controls nearby {[substance]|[category]}
detects nearby {[substance]|[category]}
provides protection from {[substance]|[category]}
explodes violently 
flies wildly through the air
psychically whispers in your ear about {[category]|[substance]}
calmly lectures about about {[category]|[substance]}
recites scripture
sends {you|nearby [category]} {1 second|6 seconds|30 minutes|1 day|1 year} {back|forward|sideways} in time
REDACTED
levitates
emits [substance]
summons [category]
creates [item]
creates [item] that [effect] [trigger]
creates a random magical item
creates a {shield|dome|cone|wall} of [substance]
creates a shimmering {dome|wall|shield} which does not allow {[substance]|[category]} to pass through
becomes moist
temporarily transforms into {[item]|"[item] that [effect] when [trigger]"|[substance]}
plays appropriate music
opens up into a pocket dimensions
opens a portal to the element plane of {[substance]|[substance]|[substance]|[category]}
causes a mutation
allows you to speak to {[category]|[category]|[category][substance]}
repairs all damage to itself
turns invisible
turns [userSubject] invisible
causes you to swap places with the nearest person
swaps places with [item] which is nearby
passes intangibly through {[substance]|[category]}
renders [userSubject] immune to harm
lifts [userSubject] into the air
creates a magical disguise
exerts force across distances
functions supernaturally well 
behaves like [category] do
functions like [item]
sanitizes things
creates {a|an intelligent|an inert} replica of {itself|[userSubject]}{ |made of [substance]}
gives useful advice
contains a seemingly infinite supply of {[substance]|whatevr you need most in life|tiny figurines of [category]}
projects illusionary images of [category]
teleports {itself|[userSubject]} somewhere {they wish to go|at random|somewhere safe|somewhere dangerous|to the elemental plane of [substance]}
cannot actually do anything except make people believe that it [effect]
grants {night|thermal|meat|x-ray|ultraviolet|low-light|smello}-vision
causes [userSubject] to think {faster|slower|about {[substance]|[category]|[item]}|in alien ways}
enhances the sense of {taste|smell|touch|fashion}
creates a bubble of {slowed|quickened|party|pizza} time
allows [userSubject] to alter the souls of [userSubject]
ressurects {[userSubject][category]} from the dead
induces sleep in [category]
wipes itself from the memory of {everyonenearby|everyone|[category]}
becomes more intelligent
transforms the nearest bird egg into a copy of itself
consumes [category]


{trigger}
exactly once, when least expected, and then never again
when {most|least} convenient
at dawn
at {breakfast time|noon|midnight|3:23 pm}
when used as intended
when used incorrectly
at random
constantly
once every {year|week|day|3 hours|hour|20 minutes|minute|6 seconds|second|millisecond}
when [category] are near
when [substance] is near
when you speak the command word "[commandWord]"
when [userSubject] [interaction] it
when [userSubject] [interaction] [category]
when [userSubject] [interaction] [substance]
when [userSubject] are affected by magic
after [userSubject] ingest poison
when [userSubject] get in a fight
when nearby [category] [interaction] [category]
when nearby [category] [interaction] [substance]
when in contact with [substance]
when [userSubject] will it to
when [userSubject] feel {anger|rage|hate|joy|disgust|sadness|pride|envy|fear|hunger|greed|lust|love|compassion|hope|embarrasment|surprise|itchy|cold|comfortable|uncomfortable}
when placed in [container]
whenever it would be {funny|dramatic|innapropriate}

{userSubject}
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
your allies
your enemies
people
nearby people 
nearby [category]


{commandWord}
[cword1][cword2][cword3]

{cword1}
woo
da
bo
do
re
mi
fa
so
la
ti
goo
sha
go
rumple

{cword2}
a
li
burger
stilt
ooooo
juh
strow
greem

{cword3}
ed
 jr
nee
ed
grumble
burg
oofda
snchitzel




{interaction}
squeeze
draw a picture of
touch
think about
talk to
lick
scream at
fiddle with
lift
lovingly pet
rub
polish
wash
punch
throw
kick
bury
hate
look at
smell
use
steal
buy
lose
ignore
see
draw
draw on
sit on
eat
break
open
wear
attack with
are attacked by




{category}
undead
treasures
coins
gems
humans
orcs
elves
dwarves
goblins
gods
living creatures
magic users
horses
monsters
secret doors
enemies
friends
bears, dogs, and mustelids
arthropods
cats
sinners
traps
secret doors
decent restaurants
merchants
magical items
sources of water
books
demons
your relatives
fish
parrots
birds
bees
insects
beards
socks
barnacles
invasive species
apes
criminals
the wealthy
liars
the promiscuous
virgins
mystical creatures













{substance}
[solid]
[fluid]
[element]

{element}
dirt
earth
air
mist
fire
sparks
ice
water
meat
light
sunlight
sundark
darkness
smoke
ash
void
sound
pure magic
fame
sand
vegetables
sugar
spice
fruit
pure energy
snow

{solid}
glass
dirt
slime
eyeballs
wood
gold
iron
copper
granite
obsidian
chains
shell
coral
sugar
salt
plywood
wood shavings

{fluid}
fungal spores
air
mist
smoke
dirt
sand
slime
blood
oil
saline
brine
aqua vitae
mercury
liquid oxygen
liquid nitrogen
bromine
ether
hydrogen peroxide
distilled water
wine
beer
coffee
liquid smoke
yogurt
cream
whey
porridge
fish sauce
honey
egg whites
fruit juice
vegetable juice
tea
soda water
potato water
molasses
mayonaise
mustard
fruit jam
ghost pepper sauce
vanilla extract
whisky
mead
stew
broth
warm lard
tomato sauce
custard
vinegar
meat emulsion
absinthe
urine
saliva
mammal blood
blood plasma
lymph
horseshoe crab blood
hemolymph
vitreous humor
cerebrospinal fluid
tears
hippo sweat
synovial fluid
pus
mucus
vomit
amniotic fluid
bile
forbidden juice
milk
ichor
pva glue
acetone
ammonia
kerosene
library paste
rubber cement
cyanoacrylate
highly concentrated laundry detergent
grease
antifreeze
bleach
wet cement
ferrofluid
soapy water
epoxy resin
cooking oil
aromatic oil
volatile oil
whale oil
crude oil
magma
nectar
liquid latex
opium latex
sap
turpentine
pine resin
pitch
mucilage 
maple syrup
gastric acid
aqua fortis
aqua regia
formic acid
oil of vitriol
piranha solution
cobra venom
spider venom
scorpion venom
nerve agent
aqua tofani
sodium cyanide
strychnine
pure nicotine
nitroglycerin
sunscreen
correction fluid
calamine
mouthwash
perfume
paint
ink
nail polish
dye
oobleck
hard water
quicksand
monster soup
tomato soup
liquor
unicorn tears
ent-draught
alkahest
ambrosia
milk plus
blue milk
frobscottle
pcp
opium
opium tea


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